you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize