We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
