actually, I'm a sock model
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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