i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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