just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize