apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
