Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
