This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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