I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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