white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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