Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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