they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just pee around me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
