your thong is hanging out like whoa
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
