I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
