I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
