There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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