Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
