Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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