shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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