you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
