We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
