absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
