Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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