if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
