I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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