I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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