i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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