So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
