I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Terrible idea I love it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
