I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
