I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
