Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My friends, they love my intelligence
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
