Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
