zippers are such a cool invention
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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