If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
