I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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