dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
