that's an acceptable place to lick
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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