Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
