He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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