I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
