My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
