i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
