Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
