I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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