don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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