Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
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