dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
