I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
