The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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