Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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