I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
