I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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