I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize