in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
