the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
