Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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